


Wake me up before you go

by KimsyWims



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Bless Aquinea, Dreams, Eating Disorder Recovery, Elves, Eventual Romance, Felix is an amazing firend, Halward is a bad father, Homophobia, I am not very good at tagging it seems..., M/M, Magic, Modern Dorian in old days Thedas, More tags coming, Panic Attacks, Spoilers, Tevinter, friendships, parallel worlds, swaps of realities
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-19
Updated: 2015-11-22
Packaged: 2018-04-20 06:49:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4777565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KimsyWims/pseuds/KimsyWims
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For as long as Dorian could remember he had had the strange dreams about a different world. A world with magic, dragons, elves and wonders beyond imagine. <br/>What Dorian didn't know was that that world was entirely real, until the day he wakes up in the middle of it it and doesn't know how if he ever will get back home again. </p><p>AU where Modern Dorian ends up in Thedas and have to adapt to his new world. How he will have to handle the crisis when his father try to change him, that the sky is torn open by a ancient darkspawn magister.<br/>Oh and how to handle when the chosen herald of Andraste is a certain handsome shy elf, Pointy ears certainly is Dorian's greatest weakness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The adventure begins. 
> 
> What was very different with Dorian was his strange dreams, or rather his one ongoing strange dream that had occurred for as long as he could remember. Dorian could always remember his dreams and every detail about them, not only because he wrote them down in journals and on his laptop, but because they were so real and so vivid.
> 
> Whenever he would fall asleep he would dream about a different world, a sunny place filled of magic and wonders other people could only imagine. He would see the same young boy as he himself was but with different clothes. He got to follow how his counterpart self as he lived in this world where magic was as normal there as electricity was here.

Dorian Pavus was a handsome young man of fifteen years, dark bronze skin, grey eyes of a storm, sharp features. His hair was dark and silky, slightly wavy where it flooded down to his shoulders neatly groomed at all times. Mostly though he had his hair set in a bun, not only was it nice to have his neck free i the heat but it was also very stylish.

Dorian was a sucker for fashion and his good looks, there was no time that he would **not** wear fancy clothes. He even had fancy silky pajamas pants that sat stylish draped to his legs (along with matching underwear). Having clothes that were not fancy simply did not work when having the parents he did, not that Dorian wished for less fancy clothes, no on the contrary, he loved fancy clothes, he simply disliked his father. 

Mr Halward Pavus, a big businessman and politician in Italy and his beauty of a wife Aquinea Pavus were both always the good talk of the town. Dorian, not so very much. As much as he loved the fancy clothes, the fine dinners, the large mansions, he loathed his father above all else and took any chance he could to get into an argument with the man. Not because mr Pavus was a bad man, but because he hated how his father had already decided the path for him, there was even a girl lined up for him to marry one of these days.

He deliberately rebelled in schools, getting booted from several of the nicest ones only for his father send in a generous donation that made the school take Dorian right back, dismiss his  behavior as boyish rebellion. The tattoo on his left arm was just there to be a frustration to his father, the rings in his ears, nose and eyebrow. Not to talk about the ones in his nipples. Dorian had thought about getting one down on his cock but since his parents didn't exactly see that he decided against it, he didn't want to cause complication for pissing or fucking.

The black eyeliner was not only very fashionably making his eyes look so much prettier, but his father also hated it, often told him that Dorian was no bloody girl, that he had a son and not a daughter and Dorian better soon man up to that and that Dorian should wash it off if he wanted dinner. Dorian would quip back with that his makeup made his eyes prettier then the war would be at full action until Dorian stormed out of his room without touching his dinner.

Aquinea would begin shouting loudly at Halward the moment Dorian would step over the threshold. Dorian was anorectic, he had been for many years, his parent had the perfect ideal on how he should be and... some of those things stuck. Not to mention all the magazines that liked to monitor if he had seemingly gained some weight. Halward seemed oblivious to it even if every night Aquinea would yell at him and point it out when her husband managed to get Dorian to leave without dinner.

Halward of course would shout back that Dorian would have to get to his senses, this stunt of not eating was a thing for attention and that Aquinea was coddling the boy. One day Dorian would have to grow up and become a man, he would have to take over after Halward when he was old enough and that would not happen while Dorian was acting like a child.

The fights between his parents would not take more than thirty minutes, sometimes loud enough to be heard up to his room sometimes not. Then his mother in person would come up with food to him, a salad he had picked out on his schedule, kiss on his hair and tell him he was so utterly handsome but perhaps he could stop with the black eyeliner around his eyes so they would get some peace for just once. 

Dorian almost relented to his mothers wish every time. Dorian supposed he could play nice and pretend to be the good son, but it would hurt inside him, his heart ached just by the thought of living the life of a pretender. No, he would never change, it was  ** _his_  **life, not his fathers. So, the very next day he would have the eyeliner anyway and the circus would start all over again. Never mind that he was fifteen and was old enough to make his own life choices. 

What people outside the family would say would simply be that Dorian was acting up like the little rich brat that he was or say that was what happened when rich parents didn't have proper time for their kids. Not that it was a lie, Dorian had through the years had four nannies, three private tutors and several sitters instead of being taken care of by his parents. 

Well, his mother had always taken time with him whenever Halward would be gone for business trips that did not require her to join him. Those days she would spend with him. When he was a young boy they would play in the pool, throwing balls and toys around while Dorian squealed of happy laughter. She would read to him, draw beside him or make cookies with him or have a glass of cold lemon juice with him.

When he got older they would spend hours shopping (Using his fathers money of course), sunbathing, sipping wine from their vineyard or occasionally take a ride on the horses around their large property. They always at least once a day had a cup of tea gossiping about other people's bad taste in clothes when Halward was working and Dorian wasn't buried in his school work.

Dorian never admitted it out loud but he loved that best, when he got to be his mothers imperfect son, when he was allowed to be a person and not just their heir. Aquinea knew about her sons endeavors with other boys of his age, she had accepted it and would not tell his father on one demand. He would keep it a secret, it would be kept under a lid until he was older.

Dorian had promised to keep it to himself and those he were with, at least until he was older. He knew that his mother probably thought it would change with time, that if he got to play it of he would realize women was what would make him happy, but Dorian knew deep in his heart, it would never change. He liked men and he would always like men. The closest his parents would get to a grandchild was through adoption.

What was very different with Dorian was his strange dreams, or rather his one ongoing strange dream that had occurred for as long as he could remember. Dorian could always remember his dreams and every detail about them, not only because he wrote them down in journals and on his laptop, but because they were so real and so vivid.

Whenever he would fall asleep he would dream about a different world, a sunny place filled of magic and wonders other people could only imagine. He would see the same young boy as he himself was but with different clothes. He got to follow how his counterpart self as he lived in this world where magic was as normal there as electricity was here.

There was remarkably many resemblances between his dream life and his real life, dream Dorian would be taken care mostly by nannies as he grew up, hated his father, loved his mother, were rich, lived in a big mansion with comforts and fancy things. Even the people living in his dreams were people he knew in real life, his parents were the same, only with also them a new set of clothes.

There was a few things that differed greatly in the life of his dreams and the real world, for starters, everyone of importance seemed to know magic, even his parents had it. Another different thing was the elves... oh Dorian could never get enough of watching them in his dreams, they were unfortunately slaves in his dreams but they were still very beautiful and oh so very sexy, those pointy ears did things to Dorian's chest.

Strangely enough the dream Dorian only briefly sent glances to the elves even if the real Dorian tried to make him to it all the time. Dorian often wished he knew hor to control his dreams, he knew there was techniques to learn, but all he found was to  _'learn the pattern of your dreams to control them'_ but Dorian didn't  **have** a pattern in his dreams, it was always the life of dream Dorian.

The dream had always been there too, when he was a child he had tried to ask his parents about what they saw when they dreamed. When the four year old Dorian had tried to explain for them about Tevinter his father had brushed him and his fantasies away as just that fantasies of a child and that there was no such thing as magic. His mother had simply thought he was adorable and told him bout her dreams that had sounded nothing like his dreams.

When dream Dorian was five he had accidentally set fire to his fathers bookshelf and drapes inside his office while he had been drawing a dragon. Dorian remember that he himself had been scared as other Dorian ran to get his mother to turn out the fire. After that he had been packed and sent to the circle, a circle Dorian had realized was the equivalent of boarding school with magic. 

Five year old Dorian in this world had asked his mother when his magic would come like in his dreams. She had scooped him up and laughed booping him on the nose and told him that the only magic existing was the magic in reading and movies. The ability to travel to other worlds and experience magic, love and happiness was within the covers of a well written book. 

It had bot been what Dorian had meant when he said magic but for the time he had simply been too happy about the attention his mother was giving him to argue her about wanting the magic the dream Dorian had, the Dorian that had a staff and was a proud Altus. 

Over the years Dorian had seen the other Dorian go through life just as himself did, day after day. He felt what his counterpart felt, understood what he understood, learned what he learned. That made Dorian know two languages flowing at young age, Italian and Tevene, which was basically Latin, that of course was his own little secret, he couldn't blabber around that he learned Latin while sleeping.

Just as the other Dorian was sent to a circle the real Dorian was sent off to a fancy school away from home. They both got to go home in special occasions, Dorian more often than dream Dorian since cars was a huge help. However when Dorian was placed in a school close enough for him to be nothing more than twenty minutes with car from home was when his father became big donor of the school and they simply wouldn't kick him out.

When they got older they rebelled together, when mage Dorian began acting up Dorian found the courage to do the same. Spontaneous he had drawn up a pattern, gone to a tattoo artist and got it tattooed on his arm. His dream had been influenced by the move because dream Dorian got one too. The mage Dorian was the first to get piercings in his face, Dorian followed when he knew it would look fancy. He was the one who started the nipple piercings and the dream followed put. 

The makeup idea came from mage Dorian. It was apparently fashion in Tevinter, makeup and flashy gold and silver jewelries were very popular there. Mage Dorian sometimes even got gold on his eyelids when he was to do something extra fancy or let it hint down over his cheekbones simply making him looking as if he was glowing. His favorite gold paint dream Dorian did was black around the edges and out in wings, a gold stripe then some more black. It made him look feline, gracious and a little bit like one of those old Egyptian paintings, Dorian liked it. 

Dorian quite often found himself jealous of his dream self. Which was ridiculous of course, he was jealous at a dream! But dream Dorian could use makeup and it was called fashion. Dram Dorian could use magic, make energy surge through his body and let things on fire. Dream Dorian had all of those handsome elves all around him... beautiful elves with huge eyes and pointy ears.

Dorian wanted to date one of those elves, wanted to love and adore them for the rest if his life, buy expensive clothes and pretty jewelries. But he knew that wouldn't happen, both for himself or his dream counterpart. The elves were slaves and mage Dorian had, as Dorian himself, a girl lined up for him he would have to marry one of those days. 

They were both fifteen by now, Dorian was by now speaking fluent Italian, English, Tevene and what was the common tongue there. It had been tricky to learn that last one but Dorian was nothing if not a sponge for knowledge, what harder was to not accidentally blurt out some of the languages from Thedas. Mostly what came out wrong were curses, for a while he had thought Tevene curses were rather foxy and had began using them, of course now they were stuck and at times he would trow out a loud 'Kaffas!' if something went wrong or he was frustrated.

Last week mage Dorian's life had entirely changed. Dream Dorian had got booted from another circle, he had celebrated with a bottle of wine while stumbling around in the elven slums looking for a brothel. Dorian wondered if he had made dream Dorian go that direction. When he had felt Dorian's desire for sex, thinking about a brothel Dorian had nearly screamed at his dream self to find a willing elf.

As Dorian had swayed down the road and had his hand on the door to the brothel Alexius had come into his life. Dream Dorian offered him to join him in on a threesome and Dorian wished he could wake up at once. He knew Gereon Alexius rather well, in his world he was a good friend to the family and Dorian was a good friend to Felix. Luckily Gereon only laughed, took him back home to sleep it off then offered an apprenticeship under him.

In the real world, Felix was the only one who knew about Dorian's strange dream. They were childhood friends and there was no one he trusted more than he trusted Felix. Dorian had let Felix read all his journals on his laptop and Felix had spent hours upon hours reading it all, never judging or telling him that he was insane but instead came with suggestions on what might had happened, they could spend hours just theorizing about it all.

When Felix was diagnosed with cancer and went through his chemotherapy Dorian would come to the hospital to update Felix about what happened in Tevinter, Felix had made him promise to come no matter how bad he felt, he'd die if he didn't get to hear updates regularly, then he had giggled over what he had said which had had Dorian groaning loudly.

Felix had laughed uncontrollably loud when Dorian told about that mage Dorian who had literally asked Felix's father into a threesome with himself and some sweet elven sex worker. It was always nice for Dorian to get to see Felix laugh and smile again, of course Felix was on the way to getting better again, his Cancer was a the good kind that could be fixed and was on good way of being fixed.

* * *

One day, Dorian sat on Felix's bed again, not the hospital one, no but Felix's bed at his house, he had just been taken back home yesterday. He was not healthy enough to run a marathon but he was healthy enough to be home in his very own bed. To his own delight, Felix's had said that if the cancer didn't take him, the boredom just might. Dorian had said it couldn't be _that_ bad, but after a couple of hours there, even with Felix's company, Dorian figured  that yes, yes it was that bad. 

So, here they sat, celebrating Felix's recovery, Dorian had brought pizza and breadsticks along with two good books and a new movie for Felix as a welcome home gift. Dorian ate a breadstick while he left Felix to ear the pizza.

The nicest part about Felix was how accepting he was about things. Whatever Dorian did with his appearances Felix would simply tell him that he looked good. Whenever Dorian had a bad day and couldn't even look in the downward direction without feeling disgusting, Felix would tell him that he looked great, that some lucky man out there would love Dorian's body. Whenever there had been a particularly bad fight with his father, Felix would patiently listen and then talk about it calmly. When Dorian had told about his dreams, Felix had believed him, without a doubt.  

Felix's constant encouraging about his body had given some result, there was less and less days he felt disgusting and fat and more days he could even go as far as to have both breakfast and Dinner without feeling sick, it was a slow but sure recovery. It was not that Felix said those things because he was interested in Dorian sexually, it was pure friendship that they both knew and enjoyed.

"Are you sure you don't want a slice Dorian? It's really good."

Felix always sounded so full of life that it made Dorian smile. No matter how sick his friend would be, he always sounded as if life was absolutely without a doubt worth living. Maybe it was because he had been sick in something that could have killed him, maybe he just was like that as a person, whatever the reason, Dorian was pleased to have Felix's happiness in his life.

"I ate a breadstick Felix, did you not see?" He teased

"Good here's another. Now tell me what I want to hear Dorian!" 

Dorian laughed and accepted the breadstick but didn't eat it, he wasn't really hungry at it. So he just leaned back to the headboard beside Felix and thought of the dream he had had this night and how he was supposed to summarize it for best effect, he always had liked to be flashy. This time though, he was a bit concerned over what had happened in his dream. 

> _"Show me one of a fireball Dorian. Do not throw it, just keep it between your hand and focus on turning it warmer."  Alexius had said encouraging._
> 
> _Dorian had focused on creating a small ball of fire between his hands, child play. He focused on making it bigger, big enough to lick his fingers and hands with the playful flames. He followed the instruction on warmer, more intense, the color began shifting from the usual red to a more blueish color. The real hot fires were blue at the center._
> 
> _The room they stood in, all furniture pushed to the walls so they would have a good area to stand in in the middle, were starting to heat up by the intensity of the spell. Dorian could see Alexius from the corner of his eyes as the magister slowly walked around him, most likely looking for flaws and Dorian made sure not to have any flaws._
> 
> _That's why he was so surprised when a mild spell hit him forcing him out of balance and  burn his hand with a loud yelp. As he looked at Alexius in bewilderment the older man just laughed and shook his head at Dorian who was gently rubbing his hand. He was horrible with healing spells, Tevinter nearly didn't even teach them, you could not strike down your enemy with a healing spell._
> 
> _"Always be prepared Dorian!" He scolded but with that laugh in his voice. "Even if you are in the middle of a tough spell, you always have to be aware of your surroundings to be ready to defend yourself. Friend, foe, lover, family, whoever or whatever it is, you always have to be ready. Now, again."_

"Well, dream me is currently working as Alexius apprentice, he is learning to be a necromage, I told you that yes?" 

"Yes, yes and he met with dream me." Felix said and nodded eating his pizza slice leaned back to the headboard he as well. "Oh and Dorian's mother had fuzzed over you, uh other you and got new clothes and all of that because she was proud over the apprenticeship." Felix summarized. 

Dorian nodded as well "Ah! Quite right!" he said looking thoughtful for a while "Tonight was really strange, I mean, it always feel like it's real but today, or rather tonight I could almost not tell it was a dream. Alexius told Dorian to work on a fire spell, surprised him and I got burned. Then this morning when I woke up... I had this."

Dorian held his hand over to Felix showing the little burn that was on his hand. Felix shifted on his bed and pushed away the pizza carton and grabbed Dorian's wrist to get a proper look at his hand. "You said that about when you both turned fifteen things had started to feel differently and more real, can you affect the other Dorian?" Felix asked clearly concerned where he examined his hand. 

"Not really, well, yes, sort of. Sometimes I can get him to pick things up, or let them go, or glance up to look at a passing elf, I can suggest things. Like when he was drunk and wanted sex I could suggest him to find an elf. I am a horrible man I know but it is my dream and those elves are beautiful." 

Dorian said with a little chuckle. Felix knew Dorian was into elves since Dorian kept yapping about them or complained loudly there was none in the real world. Dorian sighed quietly, were things changing in his dream? Was Thedas getting more real and would one day get a hold of him and pull him in? He felt the bottomless pit in his stomach fill up by dark fears of the unknown that happened to him.

"Do you think... I mean, has it been the other way around? Have you done something strange you didn't plan on?"

Dorian was pulled out of his chain of thought by Felix's voice. He had to think about the question carefully, thinking back on the things that had happened. Had he done something out of the ordinary that was not strictly him? "I did buy some gold eye shadow earlier today." He said thinking back on that impulse purchase. "I mean, I do that often though, buy things on whim, it comes with being rich I suppose, oh and it was fabulous, I look great in gold."

"Dorian, you should take this more seriously, what if the other you, the mage you is as real as you and I, what if he feel like switching worlds and you get stuck there?"

"Preposterous, he wouldn't like it here, there is no magic and no handsome elves."

Dorian tried to laugh it away as always when things got too frightening for him. But it was rather difficult, this didn't seem like a laughing matter at all. He was honestly concerned that Felix might actually be right in this matter, it wasn't exactly unthinkable that something of the sort would occur. It would be foolish to thing out of all possibilities, this world was the only one existing. What if he had accidentally tapped together with another world and that was why he dreamed about himself as a mage boy from Tevinter.

"I'm just saying, maybe we can find some... dream expert or something? Hand me my laptop will you?"

Dorian got up and lifted over Felix's laptop for him then shuffled back down beside him on the comfortable bed, looking at the laptop screen. He snickered as Felix quickly flipped down a porn site.

"Tsk, were you watching porn before I got here Felix?" He teased and laughed heartily.

"Oh shut up Dorian, you try to be stuck to a bed all days." Felix groaned while blushing brightly, it didn't show much in his dark skin but Dorian could see it since he also was blessed with very attractive bronze skin and knew how a blush looked like.  

The rest of the afternoon was spent emailing different dream scientists or whatever they called themselves, they made a couple of calls but all they reached sounded utterly insane and possibly dangerous, Dorian promptly refused to meet with madmen just due to the fact that his dreams  **might** be a concern. For all they knew, his dreams were nothing more than just that, dreams.

* * *

A few days later Dorian was enjoying a free Saturday in the pool in the backyard. He was on his back on an inflatable pool chair with a glass of wine in hand, letting one foot leisurely touch the water. It wasn't as if a fifteen year old could go and buy a bottle of wine precisely but his family did own a vineyard so there was always bottle of fine wine in the basement.

Most times Dorian wasn't even drinking alone, his mother was often the one proposing a that they would have a drink. In fact she was with him right now, on a comfortable chair splayed out in the sun in a pretty sundress Dorian had picked for her last they had been out shopping, holding a glass on her own.

Halward was not in the house for the day and was not supposed to be back to the home until tomorrow so the two of them had a very lazy day with wine, comfort and relaxation. Dorian was celebrating his day away from arguing with his father about his look by putting more makeup on, he had wanted to try out the makeup that dream Dorian had worn, the one with all gold and now was his  chance. 

His mother had sighed at him then shook her head but not even bother pulling it to discussion. She rarely argued against her son's appearances as long as it made him look pretty. She had gone through the seven steps of hell and shouted at him for the tattoo forbidden him from using a couple of shirts and bothered him about his hair when it got too long but other than that let him be.

Unless he tried out some hideous makeup that did not at all flatter his face, then she would tell him to go and wash himself of, but to be fair she would have done that to anyone in their family with bad makeup. Of course that never happened anymore since Dorian was a very fashionable man and knew what colors he could use to make himself look a little better, gold happened to compliment his face perfectly.

Dorian took a small sip of his wine, the research on his dreams had not really lead anywhere and his dreams were slowly getting more and more vivid. Maybe it was time to speak to his mother of them, tell her about how he saw another world just as he had always before, that things were getting more and more real and he was actually frightened that something might happen.

"Mother?"

"Yes my dear?"

Dorian faltered at once and sighed deeply as he pulled himself up in a slightly better position taking a deep swig on his glass. "I signed up on a Latin class." He said heavily instead of what he really wanted to say. He played slightly with one of his piercings in his ear.

"That is my good boy, how many points will it give?" His mother asked sounding pleasantly surprised by his choice in subject.

"Along with history, two hundred it's a full year." Dorian said as he looked at his mother.

"Your father will be pleased Dorian, you seem to put more focus on studying now, I am very proud of you." She said praising.

Dorian couldn't help but swell some when she said she was proud of him. He wanted his parents to be proud, preferably both of them, that was the reason he was causing all the trouble he did, his father could never see hat he was working his ass off to make him proud. After some years, he had simply given up and instead done everything to bother the man. Of course there was still a small part of him that still wished his father would be proud of him, that craved his fathers attention, even if it was only in arguments.

"Ever since I got to choose what to study myself, yes I have been improving." He pointed out to her dryly.

His mother laughed lightly as she sat up properly on her chair sipping her wine looking at Dorian. Dorian smiled slightly at her, he loved his mother, he simply did not like the man she was married to, that accidentally was his father. If it wasn't for the fact that he looked quite much like his father he would have suggested that his mother would have had an affair on the side and that Dorian was not Halward's son at all. Alas, he had seen the certificate saying otherwise.

"How is dear Felix?" She asked him gently. 

"Much better, he is back home now, bored out of his mind of course still being coped up in his room." Dorian said with a little chuckle. "Poor Felix, being inside a day such as this! At least they have air condition." 

"I am relieved to hear it, Gereon has worried himself onto sickness over him, I am just glad you are healthy Dorian." 

Dorian smiled at her and nodded. He knew his mother loved him, would he be sick she would probably actually get sick too simply out of worrying for him and then he would get more sick for feeling guilty over having made his mother so upset. It would be an evil circle. 

"You won't get rid of me mother, I am far too dashing for sickness!"

"As long as you keep all of that metal in you clean so you will not get an infection from them." 

Her tone was threatening but Dorian just laughed and finished his wine before pulling the inflatable chair close to the edge, gently letting the glass down on the edge before pushing himself back out to float around on the water watching her. 

"You are such a hypocrite mother, you have earrings and don't think I have not seen the pictures of you when you were younger with the ring in your nose." He said to her in a playfully stern voice. 

"Dorian! That was a dark phase of my life we do not speak of." She defended but her smile was amused. 

Dorian laughed and shook his head at her. There was no doubt that he got his tongue from his mother and he always enjoyed chatting with her about things like this especially when they were silly or his mother would tell him some tale about her youth that was nothing short of scandalous. She hadn't always been a good daughter Dorian had figured but the things she had done had been done in secret without the knowledge of her parents or anyone else except for her closest friends.

Some hour into the afternoon Dorian was comfortably relaxed with a new glass filled of wine and they were in a deep conversation about out country politics. Dorian didn't appreciate that his father had forced him into the path of politics but truth to be told he could enjoy a political debate or politics, as long as he got to choose it himself. 

Neither of them had noticed Halward joining them since they were knee deep in conversation, slightly tipsy from wine and neither of them expect him to actually be home until tomorrow. 

"Aquinea, how many times must I ask you not to aid our son to become an alcoholic?" 

Dorian nearly startled out of  his floating heaven along with dropping his wine as his father startled him. His mothers face only had a brief shadow of surprise for a moment or two, too used to her husband to actually give more of a reaction. 

"He will not become an alcoholic by a glass of wine Halward, he is fifteen years old, not a child." Dorian always amazed over how she could keep her calm around him, well, Dorian was always amazed over how she never seemed to lash out, unless she was behind closed doors, when his mother got angry both him and his father would practically flee the mansion for a day or two.  

Halward looked mildly annoyed with her then looked at Dorian with a frown. Dorian knew he was in trouble for all the gold that was currently defining his face, making it look as if he almost glistened in the sun. It annoyed him because his father was not even supposed to be home now and the gold made him look very attractive if he was to be honest with himself.

"Last I looked I did not have a daughter but a son, why is it that you have... that in your face Dorian?"

"Last I looked, wearing makeup as a man is rather widespread in the world father. Do try to remember we live in a time where men can do such." He said dryly.

The tension between them could practically be cut with a knife but Dorian refused to back down. Not this time, not with this, the makeup did not make him feminine, it made him look fashionably defined, he was not a transsexual. Not that there was anything wrong with that, Dorian simply wasn't, he was a man who liked other men and he was fine with that.

"How many of these men work within the government?"

"Did it ever occur to you I do not  _wish_ to work with what you work?" Dorian asked annoyed putting his glass of wine down before sliding into the water only to pull up from the water again and stood on the pool edge with his arms crossed. "That this is  **my** life, not yours? You cannot choose what I am to do with  **my** life." 

"I only want what is best for you Dorian, one day you will see that." 

"You want what is best for you! You don't have my wants in consideration to your plans, I am just another chess piece in your game!"

Dorian's voice was heated and he was moving his arms wildly around to show just how much he meant what he said, how unfair his father was. Dorian was in fact not a chess piece, he was his own person who didn't have to care about his fathers whims. 

"This is not abo-" 

"No! I will not listen to your lies thank you very much, I am not interested of your wishes since you obviously is not interested by mine." Dorian said as he stalked barefoot back up to the house.

Well back in his room he dried off his body and changed into a comfortable pair of jeans before he fell backwards on his bed and closed his eyes, he'd just nap until it was dinnertime, perhaps dream Dorian was having a better day than he was having, if he remembered correctly he had a ton of new interesting books to read there. 

Dorian chuckled lightly where he laid already half asleep, that's one way to get his hands on new literature. Maybe he wouldn't have chuckled if he would have known this would might be the last time he saw his bedroom ever again.


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorian wakes up in the wrong world, he meets a pretty elf and he explores a mansion.

The first thing Dorian noted as he lazily opened his eyes was the familiar white drapes with that familiar golden pattern. They were shielding off the bed to keep the sun out from his eyes and keeping him shielded from the eyes of eventual visitors. It wasn't _his_  usual room though. Not _his_  drapes, but it felt like home nonetheless. It was dream Dorian's room, of course it was, a nice room with nice things inside of it, who expected otherwise? 

It was strange though, how he had never thought very much about the interior of this room before or any room in this world really. It had always been known to him of course, dream Dorian spent a lot of time there but he had never put much attention to the decor. He reached up a hand to stroke the white drapes. They were made of a rough material on the inside and silk on the outside. Keeping sun out while still looking fashionable, very Dorian.

He stroke his hand lazily  over the silk sheets marveling over the feeling. He had always liked silk, it always felt almost cooling, liquid in his hands, even if it very much was not a liquid since it was a fabric. The feeling was there nonetheless. These sheets wasn't like the sheets he had home though, those he had in _his_  own bed were made by satin, less exquisite but still soft and nice to sleep on. This, this must be pure silk, a little slippery if one moved around too much in bed, but divine against his skin.

Funny how he hadn't ever noticed that before right now. How many times hadn't dream Dorian been laying in this bed, covered in sheets such as these before this morning?

He laid there lazily waiting for his dream self to get on with the morning as usual. He must have laid there for above twenty minutes, just letting his fingers touch and marvel over the silk material around his body, before he realized how something was terribly wrong. Or rather, something was missing. His head felt... well, empty somehow was the word for it, and he couldn't put his finger on what it was that was missing.

For his entire life there had always been a presence in his head. He had never felt quite alone, even if he _had_  at times _been_  all alone at occasions before, there had always been someone or rather something there, in the back of his minds, keeping him company. Not that he had known it at the time but he knew that now as it was so inconveniently missing. It was like having a cold, one simply does not appreciate breathing as much as when one can't because there are constant sneezing and sniffling.

What was missing was his other self, the dream self that usually ruled their shared body in this world. The other Dorian should be the one in charge as of right now, getting up and ready for the day allowing Dorian to ride inside his head like a passenger to see his life through his eyes. But there was only him there right now.  _Him_  controlling every part of this body, _him_  being able to touch and feel the drapes or smell the scent of Vanilla, cinnamon and something spicy lingering in the room and on himself.  _Him_ and no other.

He slowly sat up on the bed looking down at himself. He was wearing nothing but sleep pants and the silky blanket that pooled over his lap. He stroke his hands tryingly over his sides, up his chest, his neck and up his face, combed his fingers through his long dark hair gently. It all felt like him, a bit more defined in muscles perhaps, but him nonetheless.

This could be bad. Immensely bad even. This was supposed to be his dream, he wasn't supposed to physically be in his dream, he was supposed to see things from his dream-self's eyes, not controlling the body. He tried pinching himself as to wake up but that only resulted in a slight pain from the pinch, very unhelpful really.

He opted going back to sleep, that was how he usually woke up as himself in his right body, when dream Dorian went to sleep his minds would wake back up in bed, five minutes before the alarm went off on his phone. But a wild thought hit him, he couldn't actually be here, this was probably just his dream working a bit differently than usual. Letting him play a larger part.

Maybe he had even mastered controlling his dreams somehow, he had been trying to do that a lot lately. Oh there was so many exciting things he wanted to touch in this world. Things he wanted to taste, smell and feel because even if he was always aware and knew as much as dream Dorian did about this place, smells, flavors and textures were lost in the filters of dreaming.

Magic was one thing he couldn't actually a hundred percent feel either, he could feel dream Dorian's excitement over using magic and he could feel it the slightest tingle by it. But he doubted it was what the other Dorian felt. He needed to try that out, it would be simply criminal not to try out magic. He shifted to put his legs crossed, held his hands up and took a steady breath. What did Dorian usually do when making magic? He focused, he thought, fire, heat, warmth, safe, comfort. He took another deep breath and focused on those things as he had been taught through the dreams.

A soft tingling just underneath his skin in his hands flared alive, ticking him playfully from the inside. The sensation spread up his arms, washed through his body pulled at something invisible around him. He forced his thoughts to stay focused on heat, fire, the spell he was creating and not on the tingling that made him want to laugh.

A soft crackling sound broke the silence of the room and when he opened his eyes (that he didn't remember closing) he found his hands having a perfectly round orb of fire between them. The energies wrapped licked and toyed with all his senses, the tickling was now a steady stream of comfort. He couldn't help but laugh happily at that. He was doing magic, real magic. He had wanted this since he was five and now that he had it, he felt alive. The world was an eternal song of colors and sounds, he couldn't even begin to explain it on more detail than that he felt alive. 

He sat there with the crackling fireball between his hands, felt how it was playing with his energies, trying to exhaust him and he parred by shifting the energy flow with his minds drawing more from the energy around him instead of what was inside him. He did have all Dorian's education, but even without it he would probably still be able to do this, it came natural, it was just a matter of following the feeling. 

He slowly let the fire die out after a while of toying around with it. He had a dozen other things he just needed to do while he had the chance to do them, who knew if he'd ever have this opportunity again. 

Admittedly, Dorian's first goal was clothes. He practically dove into the walk in closet and began rummaging around among all the magnificent clothes that his dream self owned, while squealing and squeaking of excitement. Not that he would ever admit that he did that though mind you, he was a Pavus and a Pavus didn't squeak or squeal like a giddy school girl swooning at her crush.

He would have so many things to tell Felix when he woke back up again. This was an amazing opportunity and he would make sure to do the most of it and be sure to remember it for Felix. Maybe he should write it up somewhere, then he could read his own notes next time he dreamed. Possibly, it was also possible this wouldn't affect any of his usual dreaming, that this was just a one time fluctuation.

After a long while of trying out and picking clothes he finally settled on black slim pants that showed his criminally nice thighs. He found high boots with more buckles than could possibly be efficient, but highly fashionable. Pulled out a couple of shirts and put them out over the floor to see them all properly to be able to make a choice and hummed in delight trying to figure which one to use because there was a lot of good looking shirts and tunics there. Dream Dorian even owned a few corsets but Dorian decided against them because they went with the fancier robes and he didn't feel for those, it would take too long time to get into them.

"Handsome bastard." He mumbled to himself before grabbing the black sleeveless tunic with gold details from the floor and pulled it on.

There was a black golden fancy robe to go with it, however that would cover most of the tunic and that would be a shame and kind of defeat the purpose of the gold details of the tunic. It would also cover part of his arms, left leg and shoulders and that would simply not do.

He looked at it for a while then opted against it also because he wasn't entirely certain he knew how to handle all those straps and buckles on his own anyway. He would have to pay attention to his dream self the next time in case something like this would happen again so he could get dressed properly without fighting his clothes for half an hour more than needed.

He searched around in the room until he found the leather arm-guard that always went to dream Dorian's left arm, effectively hid the lower part of the tattoo. He knew that the leather was enchanted to work as a focus for dream Dorian's magic and since Dorian now was a novice he decided he'd need all the help he'd get. He put on black snug fitted finger-less gloves, those enchanted as well but mostly for holding to a staff comfortably, before raiding hid dream self's makeup and accessory corner. 

He picked what that Dorian usually would have gone with, a golden snake bracelet that went up on his right upper arm, a couple of rings for his fingers, a gold chain around his neck, swapped the rings in his ears for fancier gold ones then applied kohl around his eyes as a finishing touch.

He stared at himself in the whole body mirror and grinned widely, oh he was a sight for sore eyes. This body was more muscled than his own, he supposed carrying around on that Staff and twirling it like a madman did that to a person. However the reason, muscles looked good at him. He made sure his long hair was impeccable as always before he strode confident to the door, walking through it looking around in the hallway.

Dorian had been here uncountable times inside dream Dorian's minds. He knew the beautiful marble floors on the main floor, he knew the neatly polished wooden floors on the second and third floor, he knew the walls, the white pillars, the beautiful garden, the magnificent library and all the sitting rooms. However, just because he knew exactly where every room was didn't mean he had seen it like this before and he wanted to explore it all.

This house was ridiculously large so before he could just begin exploring he needed to pick a direction. Where too first? Library? Sitting room? Gardens? Offices? Kitchen? Dorian looked thoughtfully around then grinned and quickly made his way to the main living room, he knew just the couch he wanted to laze around in for a while. It was one of dream Dorian's favorite places. 

The main living room was a large room with beautiful decor and wide windows, a lot of peacock patterns as they were the house Pavus and Pavus meant peacock. He chuckled and flopped down ungraciously on one of the couches laying on his back looking up in the roof. How come he didn't look up in the roof more often? Those were some fancy patterns for a roof. 

He laid lazily with his right arm splayed out over the edge of the couch, fingers brushing against the coffee table, left leg lazily tossed up over the back of the couch in a position that would look a lot more uncomfortable than it was and he hummed delighted. This place was a true marvel, oh Felix would be so excited to hear this when he woke up and could tell him. 

He spent about an hour or so just laying there on the couch playing with magic, making fire and ice orbs between his hands, letting the energy soar through his body and into his fingers to press his limits and tease them before retracting the little spells. Magic was wonderful, the world seemed so much brighter when he played with it, he would miss that upon waking up. 

When he grew bored at lazying around with his magic on the couch he got up and decided today would be a good day for breakfast. Well, there was a fruit that dream Dorian loved that he was very curious to find out just exactly what it tasted like. He had a vague hint of it but it was always dulled down through the dream filters. The fruit looked like a pomegranate but with a greenish color and thorny spikes all over. From what he had gathered it was the most delicious fruit in all of Thedas.

* * *

 

The kitchen was bristling of people working on their daily duties. A human cook was clearly the woman in charge here, the same cook he they had at home it seemed. Two elves helping out and some other people moving in and out of the room through the servants doors and hallways. He stopped by the door a bit awkward as he realized dream Dorian never really headed down here and thus he was not entirely sure how he was supposed to say or do, how to act. If dream Dorian wanted something he had a servant sent down there for him to get what he wanted. 

He looked silently at the male elf that was hacking vegetables. He was pretty, Dorian had seen him briefly before but dream Dorian barely registered him at all. These elves and most of the people working in the Pavus household were slaves. The staff working in his house at home were employed and well payed... suddenly he was even more awkward, slavery was wrong according all the history books he had ever read. Even if dream Dorian's history books said differently.

Strange how he hadn't thought too much of this either while this was just a dream. Yet now that his dream was different, when it seemed so real, it was all rather disturbing. Dream experts said that dreams were reflections of the people who dream them. If slaves was reflection on Dorian he wasn't sure what to think about himself... of course, Dorian had never really had normal dreams either, Felix thought that Dorian's dreams were linked to another dimension. 

"Is there a problem master Dorian?" The cook looked up from the bowl with meat and some sort of marinade she was making. She sounded a bit tense over being interrupted like this in the kitchen and Dorian immediately wished he hadn't gone down here to disturb anyone. 

"Uuuh... no, do we have any of those green spiky fruits that I like?" He really wished his voice would have been a bit more confident saying that. 

"Of course. Silvius, off you go."

The woman might _look_  like the cook they had at home, but she sure sounded and acted much more harsh and not at all as loving or caring as back at home. It made Dorian even more nervous. He began playing with one of the rings on his fingers just to have something to fiddle with and focus on or he might use magic and set something on fire. Well, he doubted he'd do that, he had understood how magic worked.

The elf who had hurried away soon came back with the spiky fruit and put it on a cutting board on a bench close to Dorian and began to cut it, mindfully of the spikes. Dorian curiously walked over and leaned to the bench with his elbows looking at the elf working on the fruit with knife and skilled fingers.

What he looked more at was the ears, elf ears were very pretty, he almost wished he had them himself. Except for that it would make him an elf and he doubted he'd do well as a servant or a... slave. Slavery. That was still going to be a strange odd subject from now on. He quickly pushed the thought aside and looked at the pointy ears again. He wondered if elf ears were more sensitive than human ears.

"Are they sensitive? Err, your ears I mean, are they sensitive?" He needed to know and highly doubted dream Dorian would ask anytime soon.

"Not more than other elves, master Dorian." He had a nice voice too, calming.

"But more than human ears?" He stroke his own round ears tugging slightly in a ring. 

"Yes master, I believe so.." Silvius looked slightly confused but continued to work on the fruit to crack it open.

"Can I touch them?" Maybe not the most tactful thing to blurt out and the poor elf nearly cut his own fingers off by the tense twitch.

"I... if it is what you wish..." 

Dorian saw both confusion, hesitation and a slight fear in the elf, he also heard it in his voice. He smiled slightly and shook his head. He could live without touching elf ears, it wasn't worth the poor elf to feel uncomfortable with him. Well not that the humans around there seemed to care what was comfortable to the elves or not, but Dorian cared.

"Never you mind me, I won't touch your ears, I apologize for bringing it up but they are quite exquisite."

The elf stared at him as if he had lost his mind but seemed to catch himself in what he was doing and quickly looked down and finished, putting the purple seeds from the fruit down in a glass bowl then held it over to Dorian with his head bowed but said pretty ears were red with a blush. Either it was a very, very bad sign or it was a good sign. He had no idea. 

Dorian smiled again and took the bowl from the elf carefully before making a quick retreat from the kitchen to remove himself from the awkward situation and to find a new place to laze around at, preferably far away from the kitchen and the poor elf. 

Some hours later he laid in the grass in the backyard balancing his little glass bowl that had been filled with fruity goodness, on his chest while looking up at the leafs of a tree. The fruit was amazing, and he understood why Dorian was so fond of it, it was like pomegranate but more exotic, more tasty and it had easily become something he could imagine to eat daily without feeling guilty.

That thought lingered as he was again playing with his magic, letting frost creep along selected leaves of the tree over his head then melt away. Letting fire burn hot and crackling but leaving not a trail of destruction to the tree. 

The thought of eating wasn't as uninviting as it usually was for him. He could even feel himself looking forwards to dinner. Something he hadn't done in years. He wondered if it was because dream Dorian quite enjoyed food and ate properly. Or if it was the change of environment that did it. Whatever it was he pushed it aside to focus on his spell casting instead. 

He had found, just as his dream self that fire was the easiest to handle. He could easily cast fire and make it touch only what he wanted it to touch if he focused enough. It was incredibly easy for him and also wonderful, he couldn't stop himself from smiling while magic was playing in under his skin, dancing around him, coloring the world in vibrant life. 

He did understand that Dorian had wanted to be kicked out of the circles because of his father. But he couldn't understand how Dorian didn't want to learn more about magic, why he didn't want to master it. He sighed and made another small fireball between his hands. Anyone who couldn't get the education he himself had tried to get himself kicked out of would say the same about him that he said about dream Dorian.

He would reply to them as dream Dorian would to him.  _'I already know the subject better than anyone in my age and I didn't even choose it. My life is put up for me without my consent and I wish nothing to do with it.'_ Some people would have been happy with any education they could get their hands on, but he wasn't any people, he was a certain person who could afford to have his own choices but was denied because his father had already decided for him. _  
_

Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder he supposed. 

He thought about how much happier dream Dorian was learning under Alexius. He recalled his practices with Alexius and sat up and focused in making the fire between his hand hotter, more intense. There was a balance there, tugging in the fade, using his own energy but not to drain himself dry too quickly or he wouldn't get the fire to the heat he wanted it. 

"It pleases me that you are practicing but it is dinner son."

Dorian yelped and lashed out with his magic towards the sound of the voice, his fathers voice he realized far too late. He had been so focused on making his spell hotter he hadn't even noticed the other man come out through the door. In panic his minds had rushed to unleash the fire, hide all evidence and it had swooshed quick, hot and merciless though the air. 

Dorian gasped because even if his father was a terribly annoying man at times he was still his father and didn't deserve to be burned to a crisp. Even if this wasn't _his_ father at all but a dream version of his father. He tried to kill off his own spell but it was too late, the magic was already done and the spell cast and Dorian had no idea how to make shields yet. Alexius was due to teach him next week.

Luckily for Dorian magister Pavus had seen his son work on his spell and was aware that startling a young mage was always risky and had already been prepared on the magic going wild, easily deflected Dorian's spell. 

Dorian flung up to his feet and stared in panic at the man that looked like his father, dressed in robes instead of a suit who just stood there, very much not aflame. He didn't often apologize to his own father but he didn't often accidentally almost burn the man to a pile of ashes either and an apologize was suited there. 

"I am sorry! I didn't mean to... well.." He made a small gesticulation to point out that he meant the fire.

"No harm done Dorian, it was an impressive force, focus harder on the build in the core next time."

"I... will." Dorian was utterly confused. Had Halward just.... complimented him on a skill?

"It is dinner. Do not keep your mother waiting." 

Dorian stared after Halward confused as the man walked back inside. What was this strange world he had stepped into? Okay, that was a stupid question, this was a dream after all so maybe this dream was finally becoming more dreamlike where his father appreciated him and his skills. Or maybe the man had bad news and wanted Dorian not to be in a bad mood before telling them.

Whatever the reason Halward was acting nice and it was a pleasant change. He grabbed the now empty glass bowl and brought it back inside, placing it on the coffee table in the living room before he joined his 'parents' in the dining room for dinner, easily sliding down to his usual chair. 

It maybe would have been awkward with a long table and each parent on each side while sitting in the middle when there was slaves lurking in the shadows ready to act on their every wish or whim. But Dorian was fairly used through his dreams or his life at home. This table was a little longer but still not ridiculously long.

However, he was slightly panicked to see his plate already full with plenty of food in it. Dream Dorian didn't have his... dietary problems. There was no way he could eat all of this even if he was more interested in the food than he had been in years, this was simply too much. Maybe it would be okay if he just ate some of it though.

He listened to his mother chat about her day, gossip or things that her fellow lady friends had done or their families and things like that. Dorian slowly began to rearrange the food on his plate, trying to figure out what he could imagine to eat without making him feel sick by too much fat. He sighed quietly and began eating the salad. That would be safe. 

His _'mother'_ was soon complaining about politics, pulling his _'father'_ into discussing it with her and Dorian was getting more and more interested of the conversation loosing himself in it while eating. He was more than half way through his plate when he realized he was eating the things on the plate he hadn't planned on.

He blinked confused and stared at his fork that he he held in the air with both potatoes and meat on. Usually his body would start to protest when he tried to eat more than salad or small things but now he his body seemed more interested in getting more of what was on his plate. 

He held his hand still halfway to his mouth and just stared at it for while. He had done magic, tasted a brilliant new fruit, made a cute elf blush, felt alive, worn magnificent clothes, got complimented on his magical skill by his father and was now enjoying dinner instead of feeling guilty for it... how could he lead this life better than he could his usual life?

This was just a dream, that's why things got easier here. He could eat the food because dreams didn't put kilos on his body did they? Maybe just here in the dream he could enjoy this dinner without feeling bad about it, without nausea, without throwing up.

He took another bite, chewing slowly, waiting for his body to react negatively in form of nausea but nothing happened, the meat was delicious and he longed for more so he slowly continued on his food until he felt he was done. Not done as in _'I will be sick'_ done but more as in _'I'm content'._  

There was still no uneasiness, no nausea, no guilt. It was strange and he wasn't sure what to think of it other than that he would have weight himself when he woke up, just to be on the safe side. 

"Dorian, your books arrived today, I had them put in your room, I suggest you take an early night to read them, Alexius say that you are making good progress. Do not disappoint him dear. Do not read all night, I do not want you to come there late." His mother told him calmly.

Dorian looked to his mother and smiled with a nod. "Of course mother, I will go now. Good night." He said and got up. He kissed her cheek out of habit of doing it to his own mother whenever he said good night to the woman.

Aquinea looked at him a bit confused. Dream Dorian usually did not do things like that, open displays of affection, even if just for a parent. He gave a small smile and shrugged before quickly retreating to get his hands on the new books.

Some may call this boring read but Dorian stayed up a long part of the night just drawn into the book and it's magical theories before he fell asleep on the couch with the book fallen to his chest. He would miss this world, in this one day, it had been far better than any day he had lived for real in a very long time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for how slow this chapter came up. My muse for Dorian has simply not been with me lately but I think he has returned to me! I hope you still will enjoy it! :)


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorian realizes he is still stuck in the wrong world. He now has no means to return home and is stuck in a world he doesn't belong in.

"Dorian, Dorian! I told you not to read all night. Get up or you will be late to Alexius." 

Dorian groaned over hearing his mothers voice. His entire body was stiff and protesting over the awkward position he had slept in on the couch. His room smelled really nice, like vanilla and cinnamon and something else, something exotic, maybe orchids. He couldn't put his finger on what it was exactly, only that it was a comfortable nice smell and it was very inviting to just ignore his mother and have some more sleep. 

"Dorian you have to get changed and ready, I will send up someone to help you."

The clicking of heels to the floor leaving the room, then a door opening and closing before the silence returned. Dorian opted on falling back asleep and call in sick today, yesterday had been rather... intense,  he could just blame it on another migraine and his school wouldn't blame him. Then Dorian frowned, not opening his eyes since he knew they'd be attacked by the sun. Help him? His mother had said to send someone to help him. Help him with what? His clothes? He wasn't three anymore, he could dress on his own. 

He sighed deeply and almost slipped back to sleep before he sat up straight and opened his eyes, temporarily blinded by the bright sun that shone in on him where he sat on the couch. When vision slowly crept back to him he realized exactly what his mother had meant with her words. The room he sat in wasn't his own room. He was still stuck in dream his room and that Dorian had slaves to help him dress in all the funky buckles and belts. This was beyond bad.

He felt panic settling into his body like a blanket of ice and got up from the couch, the book he had read the night before fell to the floor with a muffled thud against the carpet. This  had been all fun and games for one day. But then he was supposed to go back, to his own life, his own things, his own reality. Sleeping was supposed to be the portal back home.

He began pacing back an forth to push away the stress and uncomfortable feeling that was spreading in it's clench from his stomach and into his chest, like ice and a dull pressing ache threatening to suffocate him.

"Vishante kaffas! Not like I can google this!" He said annoyed to himself. Why hadn't he listened to Felix? Why hadn't he sought out professional help? Tried to prevent this from happening as soon as it had began changing. What would his parents think when his bed was just empty in the morning? His mother would be devastated and it was all his fault because he couldn't take anything serious for a fucking change. 

There was a light knock to the door making him spin around violently, nearly flinging a bolt of fire against the door as the elf from yesterday carefully stepped inside with his head bent low. The head bowing thing was getting frustrating the elf was a person and all people had the same worth. Some had more money and higher status, yes. But this bowing thing was ridiculous. 

"Will you stop that! You have a perfectly pretty face stop hiding it by making yourself acquainted with the floor." He snapped shortly to the elf.

The poor elf jumped startled and looked up with pure terror in his eyes, but then tried to find a safer place for them and let them linger somewhere by Dorian's left shoulder. "I am sorry master." The elf apologized clearly trying to mask the fear in his voice. 

Dorian felt bad, no that wasn't the right word for it, Dorian felt guilty, sad, angry, apologetic and horrible all at once and he wasn't sure which of the feelings he was most zoomed in on right now. The elf surely didn't deserve the anger Dorian had shown, just because Dorian was in a bad state of mind didn't mean he could take it out on others, that was below him. He took a deep breath and glanced down to the floor himself, he could see the appeal of keeping his head down and eyes on the floor.

"No, I apologize." He said with a sigh and looked at the elf. "That was below me, though I do admit I would prefer if you would look at me, and call me Dorian, at least when we are alone?" He asked tiredly. He was so tired, strange how he hadn't noticed how tired he was before his apologize. 

He just wanted things to go back to normal. What had he dreamed about tonight? Shit, he couldn't even remember it really, just bits and pieces and nothing had been as his usual dreams. What he did remember of his nightly endeavors was sheer nonsense that made absolutely no sense in any kind of way to him. Something about a pool and wine. Was that was people usually dreamed like? Nonsense that meant absolutely nothing? How did people even stand it?

He rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands trying to keep the emotions he felt under a tight leash, not that he could pinpoint them all, there was so many emotions, or maybe there was a void of them, he couldn't decide. He tried hard to keep his breath from going ragged. Which was hard because his heart was going fast, possibly too fast to be healthy, maybe he was dying. Coming to another world would kill him, and this room was... there was too many things in here, had the room always seemed so intimidating and stuffed to the brim of books, furniture, scrolls and other things that wasn't his?

It was too warm, hell he was boiling from the inside out. This was it. He was dying or maybe he had already died and this was afterlife, that's why he was there. He was dead, there was probably a break-in and they killed him in his sleep... no please he didn't want to be dead, he hadn't finished all the things he wanted to do in life. He wasn't ready! He hadn't even turned twenty.

He jumped startled when soft hands gently grabbed to his wrists, applying a gentle tug to them, prying them away from his face. It was the elf, of course it was the elf, they were the only two people in the room, even if Dorian had forgotten that. The elf let his wrists go then put his hands to his cheeks carefully. Dorian could feel the soft elven hands to his face, actually feel it. If he felt, he couldn't be dead could he?. He noticed that the elf was talking but couldn't register the words, couldn't hear him over the rush of blood in his ears, had everything always felt this hopeless? Was he always this lonely? Probably not, but he was dead now wasn't he? 

"Look at me, can you see me? Do you hear me? Say your name, what is your mothers name?"

He focused on the elf speaking his words to him softly, elf hands still locked to his face. He liked elves, who was this elf? Something on S... Siv... Sevl. Silvius. He had pretty ears, and a pretty voice. Wait what was the elf saying, he should try to hear him, even if those ears were really pretty, he wanted to touch them, just once, to feel them. He should buy Silvius earrings, maybe he'd like that.

"Your ears are pretty." He mumbled hazy as if it was all a dream, which it should. This should be a dream, not reality, and not death. 

"You can touch them if you tell me your name. Just breath in, count to ten, breath out and tell me your name." 

Those were simple enough instructions that he could follow. He gulped in air but too quick and couldn't hold it to ten so the elf asked him to do it again. This time better success as he pulled in air slowly, filling up his lungs until they stung slightly, one, two, three, four, by the time of ten he slowly let it back out. He repeated twice before allowing his thoughts back. Who was he, that's what the elf had asked. He was Dorian Pavus, in the wrong place but that was him. 

"Dorian Pavus." He suddenly felt really childish when he said his name out loud.

He was fifteen years old, he shouldn't be acting this way. He felt his cheeks burn in the blush and he tried to look down but the elf just gently pushed his head back up with the fingers that was still on his cheeks. The elf nodded, let one hand slide down and take Dorian's own, guiding it up to his left ear and Dorian stroke it carefully.

It was a real ear, like any ear, not a fake extension or surgery, there was no scars, no nothing but his ear. Dorian gently stroke over it and the elf stifled a giggle by biting his lower lip and the ear twitched the slightest under his fingers. Dorian smiled slightly over the movement then slowly pulled his hand back as he realized just how silly he had just been, how silly he was still being groping the poor boys ear. 

He blushed and backed a step away from the elf, and said elf quickly pulled his hands away from him as not to offend him. To Dorian's relief the Silvius didn't bow his head again. He sighed deeply, sitting down on the couch he had been sleeping on all night. The pain in his neck and back should be evidence enough that he hadn't slept on a bed, it was evidence he wasn't dead at all actually so it was a comforting stiffness. 

He leaned his elbows to his knees and dropped his head heavily into his hands closing his eyes again trying to sort things out. The hard, cold clench in his stomach was still there but it was considerably less by now and all emotions didn't threaten to suffocate him anymore.

"I apologize... that was... well, I don't know what that was but I apologize." 

"Anxiety master Dorian. Do you wish for anything I can get you?"

Anxiety, brilliant just what he needed right now. A return of his panic attacks. Now that it had been pointed out to him it was really rather obvious. It had been two or three years since he had one last, that's why it had caught him so off guard. Dorian had suffered anxiety and panic attacks from an early age, it came with his fathers impossible standards on him and how he'd never be allowed his own life, but he hand't had them after he picked his own courses in school.

Now, things were back out of his control. He had no idea how he was there, where there was, or if he'd ever be allowed to see his own life, his home, friends and mother again. He didn't even know if he truly was alive anymore. Well, he still could feel things, that should be a sign that he indeed was alive. He remembered the elf had asked him a question and he took a deep breath to reply, but didn't look up, not just yet.

"Water, please." He mumbled barely audible.

The elf elf vanished into the bathroom just a door away then came back with a pitcher and a glass before sitting on his knees if front of Dorian gently guiding Dorian's hands away from his face to the filled up glass until his fingers curled around it, then the glass to his mouth and Dorian took a sip, then another. It was pathetic really how he needed someone else to help him with this. But he was too tired, too wrung out to even care right now, just grateful for Silvius, that elf needed a raise. Did they even pay him? Probably not... maybe he should be promoted to servant and get money, yes that would be a fitting reward. 

The water helped to clear things out properly, even if the concern and fears were still there clenching in his guts, they were lessened. As if the water had washed a lot of it away. He tried not to think about the problem, tried to think about something else, like making up an animal for every letter in the alphabet. But honestly, the problem was all around him, it was impossible not to think about it. So after only getting to E he gave up on coming up with animals and instead tried to break the problem down to understandable little pieces. 

The problem, was that he was stuck in the wrong world, a world that was only supposed to be a fantasy and nothing more. He had no means to go back home, other than sleep, but that hadn't worked out so really now there was no way he knew to get back to his own bed. He had no one in this world who'm he could talk about what had happened, or anyone he could tell to without sounding like a lunatic.

Felix. 

Of course! Felix would be the answer. After all, he had told his own Felix about the dreams. Maybe dream Dorian had told this Felix about them. If not he knew that his Felix and this  _Felix_ had about the same personalities, if someone would believe him it would be Felix. He finished the second glass of water the elf had poured him in a quick gulp and smiled at Silvius. 

"Thank you Silvius. I do apologize for... well, that whole display. And thank you for helping me." 

"Of course master Dorian. You must get dressed or you will be late to magister Alexius."

The elf walked to his closet and with care pulled out the robes Dorian usually wore when he had lessons with Alexius. Dorian stood awkwardly waiting for the elf to go but the elf just walked close and began working on the lacing of his shirt to help him undress. Like he would with the Dorian that was supposed to be there. 

Dorian squirmed slightly, fingers that close to his chest usually meant he was about to get laid and the thought made him go hard at once. Not just politely interested but foll blown erection thinking about the elf and those wandering fingers and how pretty Silvius was. He blushed and backed a quick step away from the elf and his skilled fingers. 

Silvius looked up, confusion written in his face and Dorian blushed. It was usual to get help with clothes here, he had to remind himself over and over again. Dorian that was meant to be here wasn't that into elves and never had these problems, Dorian in this world barely even noticed the elves. But Dorian wasn't from this world and he was interested, too interested, unhealthy much interested.

"Ah... um... let me undress on my own, I just need to make sure my fingers still work after that." He excused his actions. And that was something, he just made an excuse as to why he wanted to undress on his own... that was a first. "I might need help with all the buckles but err, I can handle my pants on my own, I promise." He said quickly as he blushed more profoundly threatening even his bronze skin to start showing it. 

Before the elf had time to reply Dorian fled to the bathroom with his clean pants and closed the door. Christ, this was horrible. Oversleeping, a panic attack and the boner of the ages and it was not even lunch time. Could this day get any worse?

As it turns out, yes, things could be worse, not only did he fall flat on his face when he got stuck on his own damn robes as he walked through the hallway, he also pulled a pot of flowers down with him making his allergies catch up to the party. He wondered if it was Tuesday, it probably was, everything bad happened him on Tuesdays.

As he laid there on the floor in the mess of flowers, his robes, and water dripping down over him while sneezing he contemplated just stay there rest of the day because that was a pretty good representation of his life right now. Absolute mess that he wasn't sure he could clean up because he had no idea where cleaning things were in this house.

Aquinea quickly walked to find the cause of the commotion, finding her son as he rolled over on his back staring up in the roof in a puddle of water covered in the flower arrangement that had stood on the side table. Not that he seemed to plan on doing anything about it anytime soon and she sighed loudly for him to hear it. He didn't have time to just lay there.  

"Dorian you are still going late, up with you. Thilda! Come here and clean this mess up. Dorian, what makes water dry?"

"Heat?"

"Go on, Hop to it."

Dorian blinked confused. What on earth did she mean him to hop on to? Set himself on fire? Jump into an oven? Then realized what he was supposed to do and sat up, he was a mage, she wanted him to do magic. He needed the spell to work around him but not burn anything inside of the house. He thought about it for a second then held up his hands in front of him as if he was holding something invisible between them before he let fire flood in the empty space. He focused to let it lick up his arms and down his robes.

It was the strangest feeling, as if the fire was an extension of his own hands, he could feel the water beneath his flames, feel it vaporize at touch but leave the fabric unharmed. He experimentally let the fire lick the floor to the puddle, between the flowers but not touching the flowers or they'd dry out. 

When he pulled his magic back only some of the flowers had been a little deformed by the fire, but other than that, everything was dry and comfortable and no scorch marks. The clench in the pit of his stomach had almost entirely resolved. Using magic had just lifted the last of the panic inside him, the hopelessness and instead he was filled of pride and excitement. 

His mother or rather, dream Dorian's mother looked at him with pride and Dorian grinned widely as he got up on his feet. So maybe today wasn't entirely horrible. Magic actually made things rather pleasant and left him with an intoxicating tingling of feeling alive. Something he hadn't felt in years, not even in the real world.

Dorian had sent Silvius on having a day for himself, that was an order, he had even wrote a little slip just in case anyone didn't believe it, signing it with his name. It said that the elf was allowed to take a day for himself as a _'reward for good behavior'_ both him and the much grateful Silvius knew it was a thank you for the morning's endeavors.

* * *

Alexius office smelled of orchids and a hint of citrus. Something he had never noticed before he came here bodily. Alexius was demonstrating a shield spell and Dorian eagerly clung to every word and suggestion the elder mage was providing. If Dorian was something it was eager to learn when he choose the subject to learn about. Magic was something he really wanted to learn about.

He knew a terribly weak shield spell from before or rather dream Dorian knew a terribly weak shield spell from before, but it was not enough to block a direct blow. It worked to parry a weaker spell but that was about it. So they practiced with the shields until lunch, then Alexius gave some things for Dorian to study in the library for the remaining hours.

Dorian was so deep sunken into his book that he didn't notice Felix until a plate of fruit was put on the table and the younger mage sat opposite to him in the other chair with a smile. Dorian looked up and chuckled lightly. It was typical Felix actually, they used to be at his place and Felix would sneak them things from the kitchen they could eat while doing homework together. 

"Don't get in trouble on my behalf." Dorian said while still reading from the book.

"Oh, but I like trouble." Felix replied and popped a grape in his mouth.

Dorian chuckled lightly and grabbed a pear while reading down the page to finish the paragraph before he marked it with a piece of parchment and closed it gently. He put it aside and decided now was a good time as any to speak to Felix and take a little break from his studies. How interesting they now happened to be, he still needed breaks or the words would start to make no sense at all. 

"Well, good. I have a problem and you might think I am mad but..." Dorian began but was interrupted by Felix holding his hand up.

"Is this like last time you said that? I told you Dorian, you might be a strange case of Somniari, I actually got a book about it and they DO dream really odd."

Of course Felix knew. The other Dorian must have spoke about it while himself hadn't noticed it. He often ignored what people talked about just so he could take in the surroundings instead, only listening if there was something interesting to say. It was a relief to be honest, maybe now he wouldn't seem entirely insane while telling Felix about his problem. 

"I rather think it is dimensions, two dimensions pressing against each other and ends up in an exchange of imagery." Well, that was what him and Felix of his world thought. They didn't have Somniari's so they didn't even guess on that.

"That could be a possibility, yes... have they changed any?" Felix asked concerned.

"Well, that's the thing. Last night, well my dream was... well nonsense really. I think I dreamed about a pool and a glass of wine and a handsome pool boy... errr." He coughed in his hand and blushed. "Thing is," he said when he recovered. "I am on the wrong side of the barrier so to say and now I can't wake up in the right place."

Felix's eyes widened as he stared at Dorian from top to toe, or what he could see where they sat by the table and Dorian sighed waving his hand slightly. Maybe he should have said that more smoothly? He should have thought this through before saying it.

"Makers breath... you are his dream?"

"Well.. technically, he's the dream I mean you are too, my Felix has a different haircut. Thing is, I woke up yesterday on the wrong side and now I can't get back... I need help." He said tiredly. "I don't know who would believe me and I have no proof other than my word..."

"Dorian, we have to tell my father, this is most likely dangerous, people don't just switch places! You, I mean both of you, are not meant to be in these dimensions, what if it is fatal?"

"Wh... what! Oh good god! He is in my body! No, no, no!"

Dorian got up and began pacing quickly back and forth, the clench tightening inside his chest. The other Dorian was cold against his own mother, he would be cold against his mother too. That would end in a divorce because his mother only stood it with Halward because of the time she spent together with Dorian, gossiping and joking. He loved his mother and she deserved the best.

"Dorian, Dorian! Calm down, you are drawing on the fade!" Felix said as he also stood up having already thrown up a small shimmering shield around himself, just in case.

Dorian stopped, took a deep breath and felt the energy build up in him and he closed his eyes. What had Silvius said? Just like the psychologists. Ten in, ten out, calm breathing all around. He focused on his breathing and to calm himself further let a small orb of ice twirl between his hands to let the energy loose. Like on the floor when he'd felt hopeless. The spell had helped, maybe it'd help now as well. 

It worked, the magic more than the breathing and he silently relished in the feeling of the ice. He looked at the orb then slowly allowed for some heat, molding the orb into a rose, petals in gracious twirls and twists and he slowly drowned in the focus of making the rose look more realistic. Heat to shape it then more ice to freeze it back over. The panic just flooded out of him and into his work, as if the rose of ice pulled the panic out of him. 

"Sorry... this is all a bit much... I don't... well, handling things like this is not exactly something I am equipped for if you get it." Dorian said and sighed.

He let the rose melt and vaporize then sat down heavily on the chair again closing his eyes as his head lolled back. The exhaustion was not only from the panic, he had used a bit too much of his own mana but it was all worth it since it had drawn away his panic attack and hadn't made the library go up in flames. 

"Well, you certainly have his talent." Felix said impressed.

"Well, I was always here, ever since we were just little things. Whenever I slept I dreamed about this but I didn't have magic." 

"That is how he described it too." Felix said and nodded. "Look... Dorian, my father have access to a lot more books than we do, your father even has access to the Archon's books we have to tell them."

Dorian laughed, a laugh good way on being hysteria and he pulled his fingers through his hair to make sure it was still impeccable as it was meant to be, feeling the clench again and he took a deep breath focusing on regulating the heat around him with magic just to get the clench to loosen up. They couldn't just tell Dorian's parents. They would think him crazy, or a bigger disappointment than they already did. 

Alexius though... Dorian had invited him on a threesome once and the magister had just let his sleep it off then offered an apprenticeship. Maybe Alexius was exactly the man he needed to ask. He nodded slowly and looked at Felix, who smiled his usual assuring smile back at him.

"Okay.. your father, not Dorian's trust me, the Halward I know would send me to a sanitarium and I don't fit in those colors." He said and sighed.

"My father then, come on."

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if there is any interest of this so Kudos or comments are appreciated so I know if you want to read this. 
> 
> If you do you are truly amazing! Have a good day :)


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